Going under
And a new project, An Animal Within An Animal
I need a break. I will be posting writing on my new Instagram but Unshame (Unshaming) is going on a bit of a hiatus as I work on edits of the actual book. I appreciate all your support and I hope you stay subscribed. I will be back in September!
On Instagram, I’m posting excerpts of a new novel I’m working on called An Animal Within An Animal and it’s a book about… balance. I don’t know how else to describe it. It started as a book about a woman exploring her desire in later age (and it is that still) but when I was trying to come up with a conclusion something totally unexpected occurred to me. Like me, my protagonist thinks she’s looking for one thing but it turns out she’s looking for something else entirely. But maybe I’ll let her explain. This is from a scene where Sofia (my protagonist) has a grown-up conversation with her daughter who just got dumped by a bit of a poser (who’s name is Eric Dior and who’s probably my favourite character since Guy and I love writing him).
“People think that success depends on hard work and opportunity, nepotism too. And it does, to some extent. But what it really depends on is balance. She believes in that now. She believes that if you don’t attend to your life relationships–romantic, friendships, familial–you create a lack. And that siphons from everything else. It’s not exactly karmic but it is that too.
The world is filled with talented, ambitious men baffled as to why their potential didn’t work out. All you have to do is look into their toothbrush holder. Sofia’s first husband thought his Playboy reputation was a badge of honour and brokenhearted women he left in his wake were proof that he was serious and worshiped at the altar of artistic success. Women were the goal but also an obstacle. They cried and misinterpreted things. But the universe pays attention. He became irrelevant. His ideas were outdated, stuck in the 90s.
The ones who truly succeed understand that more creates more, that in order to be truly fulfilled you have to try to be fulfilled in all areas in life. And it is supposed to be fucking hard. Attend to love in the same way you attend to your genius. The universe is only interested in abundance; it hates people who stand in their own way. It takes away from those who self-sabotage. The universe wants you to be alive, you can be dead later. And if you’re going to deny yourself, join God in church like Ania. At least you won’t be on your own with your madness. For Sofia it has been reverse. She has to attend to work now. Then, at least she’ll be able to say she tried.”