Not to mention the immense effect that our minds can have on our sex life. Once I feel love and loved and connected I can more or less orgasm from having my ear blown on and nipples tickled 😂. If my head isn't in the game then it doesn't matter how many inches are inside.
Had to double back to say this essay has nothing but good things. Urging women and people interested in pleasing women to learn the actual anatomy of the clitoris. To learn to ask the women they want to please what they like and then to believe them. Vagina maths. And trying to explain to men that phallocentricity is gay bc not every woman is a size queen (and the ones that are will still sleep with you anyways if you’re funny and make them feel interesting)
And lo! A bunch a lil dick dudes outting themselves to correct a woman online in the comments
I read the first couple of paragraphs of this and skimmed the rest and I have no idea what your point is.
"The other night, late at night, I was browsing through Substack and a new essay popped up written by a guy about how women want big dicks and how life isn’t fair. Because I have troll tendencies, I occasionally leave unsolicited comments on things that make me roll my eyes and that was one of those occasions. In my comment I tried to dispel that “myth” or whatever, and included some basic information about female anatomy – such as the fact that unaroused vagina is 2-4 inches long and an aroused one gets up to 8 inches – based on actual science but also based on conversations that happen in women-only spaces.1"
So he wrote that women like big dicks and you left a comment saying that the aroused female vagina expands up to 8 inches. That seems to support his point--8 inches is quite a bit bigger than the average penis, so if it takes 8 inches of penetration to stimulate the entire aroused vagina, that would support his thesis that women want big dicks. Yet you seem to disagree? Then you ramble on about how female anatomy and pleasure remain poorly understood but...your headline point is about a guy who seems to understand female anatomy pretty well, based on the actual science you provided?
prioritize your pleasure, do whatever the hell you want as far as i am concerned (encouraging not sarcastic) but the notion that saying “an erect vagina extends to 8 inches” to the average man is in any way comforting is d e r a n g e d, respectfully
Does the bro really have a point? His and your comment only prove mine, which is that men try to explain to women what women are, again. But go off, sure. Anyway, if you read my original comment on the original bro’s original essay, you will discover that I talk about the anatomy a bit and the fact that not that many women want to have their cervix fucked and that, in fact, most of us are perfectly happy with insertion alone because the entrance to the vagina is where many of the most sensitive nerve endings are concentrated, supported by that wonderful organ called the clitoris. During arousal, the vagina can lengthen to as much as eight inches, sure, but for many women the most pleasurable sensations are concentrated near the opening. As arousal increases, the clitoris swells — this is not just the visible glans (what most men think a clitoris is), but its internal structures as well. The paired vestibular bulbs become engorged, and the clitoral crura, which extend along either side of the vaginal opening, also fill with blood. Together, these tissues create a kind of soft embrace around the entrance to the vagina, which is one reason penetration can feel especially pleasurable when a woman is fully aroused.
The rest of the vaginal canal is generally less sensitive to light touch, although some women find the area commonly referred to as the G-spot -located roughly two to three inches inside (for some a bit further) the front wall of the vagina — particularly responsive. For many, that area is more effectively stimulated with firm pressure or a come-hither motion of one or two fingers than by straight thrusting. Anyway. You’re welcome.
Yeah, as Milford said, my comment really isn’t about women’s bodies, it was about your writing. If you start off a piece arguing that men don’t understand women’s bodies—or something? Still not sure—with “haha, bro thinks women want 8 inch penises, but in fact the aroused vagina can be 8 inches long,” you’ve shot yourself in the foot not matter what you say after that.
i didn’t tell you anything about women, i told you a fact about men that you are welcome to stress-test for the rest of your life. *i* understand everything you’re saying about women because i don’t have an 8 inch cock and i’ve had alot of great sex. beyond that i am autistic so i’ve been curious enough to learn everything you’re telling me now.
i am not arguing with you about your body. i am arguing with you about your argument.
the average guy is going to need what you’re saying explained in a different way, and in fact, i would go so far as to say just keep the phrase “8 inches” out of said explanation completely. men, hell, people in general are not very smart. and your explanation, as it stands, is misery-inducing because all they’re doing is comparing whatever they have to the 8 inches you just rolled out onto the table
Women are extremely tired in carefully explaining and reexplaining, and then softening, and reexplaining again. Fuck tone policing. If y'all wanted to understand you would.
Both partners should prioritize the other’s sexual needs; which is one reason I don’t understand why people wait for marriage to have sex — what if you aren’t compatible sexually and now you’re married — other side of that coins is the people who are only together because the sex is awesome but are compatible different — regardless relationships are the hardest job you will ever have
LOLOL got here through the comments of the post you mentioned. After you roasted a dude I wanted to see if you had your own articles, didn’t think it’d be a continuation of the thread!
I don't have much more to add than this: studying statistics wherein researchers asked or otherwise tested what women wanted is indeed a form of listening to women.
Just because women are anonymous members of a group in a study doesn't mean they're not real, or that their preferences don't count as 'lived experience' or whatever you might call it.
I want to say this delicately because there are many caveats and other factors involved and I don't want to trigger any unnecessary insecurities in men who may read this, but it is not an universal thing that size is not important and that all that matters is how it's used. If you're able to have vaginal orgasms (however they are achieved, and however we want to explain them, or to whatever we attribute them), then size definitely *can be* important, and not just the girth, although for many women, that is more desirable, as the author says. But if you get a more intense and pleasurable orgasm from a certain spot getting hit, you're going to need a length that is compatible with your own vaginal anatomy to do that. That does not mean 8 inches, or *any* set amount of inches, because vaginas also differ in size, so thankfully no one needs to feel cursed for not having a particularly long one. But you can't just move it a different way to achieve the same result as a guy with an extra inch or so or whatever if you're looking for a specific kind of orgasm.
Totally agree but lucky for me I have every sort and my best experiences have been with men who are more interested in me than the size of their dick (literally and metaphorically). My friends and I (a bit further down the line than you probably) don’t really talk about this type of thing too much but I’ve heard more grumbles about too large than too small. But again it’s knowing what to do with it - and it’s not a battering ram attempting to knock down the ramparts.
I have had great times with guys who couldn't anatomically hit *that spot* for sure. But I've only slept with one dude who had one those almost too-big ones who seemed to think that the size itself was enough (I also have heard more complaints about guys being too big than the opposite). Basically I think you need to know what to do with it regardless, and definitely don't use it as a battering ram or jackhammer unless she's explicitly into that, and I think it's safe to say most of us aren't. But I haven't met a single guy other than him (this was like 25 years ago btw - I am nearly 43) who was more interested in the size of his own dick than my pleasure. I have been lucky in that way, I suppose. Even that guy I mentioned never explicitly said anything about it, I just inferred that that was his reason for being so abysmally boring in bed. FWIW he was like 23 at the time and presumably is better now (hopefully, lol)
I do wish it was easier to discuss this and reassure men who evidently find the bog dick thing an issue (although in fact I’ve not met any man who would admit to it!) it’s hard for a lot of women to talk about what they like and don’t like. I’m about 20 years older than you - I do hope things are getting better down there.
Yeah, my whole point was about how it's best to ask women (and look at some anatomical drawings) rather than assume... I've also found -- as I do, here -- that women are so intelligent and sensitive and aware of all the nuance that goes with one thing fitting into another and it often has so little to do with the size of things. It's also such a turn-on for a woman to simply be desired -- by a man that she desires -- that even a small but enthusiastic dick tends to be more fun than a big log that's just pumping dumbly like a fuck machine. Out of the million things that are beautiful and sexy about intimacy and eroticism and connecting with another body, a dick size is so low on our list of turn-ons... I also find it intersting that some men are still arguing about this (here and on the original post), like they just have this incel mindset where they're dying to have a woman confirm that indeed, their dick is a litle disgusting worm and we're all obsessed with porn horsecocks. But those men probably shouldn't be fucking in the first place; fucking is a priviledge and joy and needs to be attended to with care and devotion.
Not to mention the immense effect that our minds can have on our sex life. Once I feel love and loved and connected I can more or less orgasm from having my ear blown on and nipples tickled 😂. If my head isn't in the game then it doesn't matter how many inches are inside.
banger
Had to double back to say this essay has nothing but good things. Urging women and people interested in pleasing women to learn the actual anatomy of the clitoris. To learn to ask the women they want to please what they like and then to believe them. Vagina maths. And trying to explain to men that phallocentricity is gay bc not every woman is a size queen (and the ones that are will still sleep with you anyways if you’re funny and make them feel interesting)
And lo! A bunch a lil dick dudes outting themselves to correct a woman online in the comments
Well played
I like your use of the word "buddy" to refer to some random dude. You don't hear it used that much anymore.
Rest of your essay was good too.
I read the first couple of paragraphs of this and skimmed the rest and I have no idea what your point is.
"The other night, late at night, I was browsing through Substack and a new essay popped up written by a guy about how women want big dicks and how life isn’t fair. Because I have troll tendencies, I occasionally leave unsolicited comments on things that make me roll my eyes and that was one of those occasions. In my comment I tried to dispel that “myth” or whatever, and included some basic information about female anatomy – such as the fact that unaroused vagina is 2-4 inches long and an aroused one gets up to 8 inches – based on actual science but also based on conversations that happen in women-only spaces.1"
So he wrote that women like big dicks and you left a comment saying that the aroused female vagina expands up to 8 inches. That seems to support his point--8 inches is quite a bit bigger than the average penis, so if it takes 8 inches of penetration to stimulate the entire aroused vagina, that would support his thesis that women want big dicks. Yet you seem to disagree? Then you ramble on about how female anatomy and pleasure remain poorly understood but...your headline point is about a guy who seems to understand female anatomy pretty well, based on the actual science you provided?
Ok
i mean. bro has a point.
all that other stuff? great, absolutely.
prioritize your pleasure, do whatever the hell you want as far as i am concerned (encouraging not sarcastic) but the notion that saying “an erect vagina extends to 8 inches” to the average man is in any way comforting is d e r a n g e d, respectfully
Does the bro really have a point? His and your comment only prove mine, which is that men try to explain to women what women are, again. But go off, sure. Anyway, if you read my original comment on the original bro’s original essay, you will discover that I talk about the anatomy a bit and the fact that not that many women want to have their cervix fucked and that, in fact, most of us are perfectly happy with insertion alone because the entrance to the vagina is where many of the most sensitive nerve endings are concentrated, supported by that wonderful organ called the clitoris. During arousal, the vagina can lengthen to as much as eight inches, sure, but for many women the most pleasurable sensations are concentrated near the opening. As arousal increases, the clitoris swells — this is not just the visible glans (what most men think a clitoris is), but its internal structures as well. The paired vestibular bulbs become engorged, and the clitoral crura, which extend along either side of the vaginal opening, also fill with blood. Together, these tissues create a kind of soft embrace around the entrance to the vagina, which is one reason penetration can feel especially pleasurable when a woman is fully aroused.
The rest of the vaginal canal is generally less sensitive to light touch, although some women find the area commonly referred to as the G-spot -located roughly two to three inches inside (for some a bit further) the front wall of the vagina — particularly responsive. For many, that area is more effectively stimulated with firm pressure or a come-hither motion of one or two fingers than by straight thrusting. Anyway. You’re welcome.
Yeah, as Milford said, my comment really isn’t about women’s bodies, it was about your writing. If you start off a piece arguing that men don’t understand women’s bodies—or something? Still not sure—with “haha, bro thinks women want 8 inch penises, but in fact the aroused vagina can be 8 inches long,” you’ve shot yourself in the foot not matter what you say after that.
Read the comment above yours :-)
Yeah, the one where you're all like "I said what I mean to say more clearly somewhere else"? Cool. But I'm commenting on this piece of writing here.
i didn’t tell you anything about women, i told you a fact about men that you are welcome to stress-test for the rest of your life. *i* understand everything you’re saying about women because i don’t have an 8 inch cock and i’ve had alot of great sex. beyond that i am autistic so i’ve been curious enough to learn everything you’re telling me now.
i am not arguing with you about your body. i am arguing with you about your argument.
the average guy is going to need what you’re saying explained in a different way, and in fact, i would go so far as to say just keep the phrase “8 inches” out of said explanation completely. men, hell, people in general are not very smart. and your explanation, as it stands, is misery-inducing because all they’re doing is comparing whatever they have to the 8 inches you just rolled out onto the table
Women are extremely tired in carefully explaining and reexplaining, and then softening, and reexplaining again. Fuck tone policing. If y'all wanted to understand you would.
Thank you! Your partner probably cums a lot and good for both of you. I appreciate this.
sure man let’s throw all decorum out the window when the goal is to understand each other that’s really fuckin smart, tell me more
I read that article. I kept waiting for a punch line that never arrived. He writes like a teenage boy who skipped sex-ed classes.
This is such a great essay! If men could understand that prioritizing a woman’s pleasure doesn’t de-prioritize theirs.
Right on 😎🤘
Both partners should prioritize the other’s sexual needs; which is one reason I don’t understand why people wait for marriage to have sex — what if you aren’t compatible sexually and now you’re married — other side of that coins is the people who are only together because the sex is awesome but are compatible different — regardless relationships are the hardest job you will ever have
LOLOL got here through the comments of the post you mentioned. After you roasted a dude I wanted to see if you had your own articles, didn’t think it’d be a continuation of the thread!
I don't have much more to add than this: studying statistics wherein researchers asked or otherwise tested what women wanted is indeed a form of listening to women.
Just because women are anonymous members of a group in a study doesn't mean they're not real, or that their preferences don't count as 'lived experience' or whatever you might call it.
Nice post! It’s not about size it’s about what’s done with it.
I want to say this delicately because there are many caveats and other factors involved and I don't want to trigger any unnecessary insecurities in men who may read this, but it is not an universal thing that size is not important and that all that matters is how it's used. If you're able to have vaginal orgasms (however they are achieved, and however we want to explain them, or to whatever we attribute them), then size definitely *can be* important, and not just the girth, although for many women, that is more desirable, as the author says. But if you get a more intense and pleasurable orgasm from a certain spot getting hit, you're going to need a length that is compatible with your own vaginal anatomy to do that. That does not mean 8 inches, or *any* set amount of inches, because vaginas also differ in size, so thankfully no one needs to feel cursed for not having a particularly long one. But you can't just move it a different way to achieve the same result as a guy with an extra inch or so or whatever if you're looking for a specific kind of orgasm.
Totally agree but lucky for me I have every sort and my best experiences have been with men who are more interested in me than the size of their dick (literally and metaphorically). My friends and I (a bit further down the line than you probably) don’t really talk about this type of thing too much but I’ve heard more grumbles about too large than too small. But again it’s knowing what to do with it - and it’s not a battering ram attempting to knock down the ramparts.
I have had great times with guys who couldn't anatomically hit *that spot* for sure. But I've only slept with one dude who had one those almost too-big ones who seemed to think that the size itself was enough (I also have heard more complaints about guys being too big than the opposite). Basically I think you need to know what to do with it regardless, and definitely don't use it as a battering ram or jackhammer unless she's explicitly into that, and I think it's safe to say most of us aren't. But I haven't met a single guy other than him (this was like 25 years ago btw - I am nearly 43) who was more interested in the size of his own dick than my pleasure. I have been lucky in that way, I suppose. Even that guy I mentioned never explicitly said anything about it, I just inferred that that was his reason for being so abysmally boring in bed. FWIW he was like 23 at the time and presumably is better now (hopefully, lol)
I do wish it was easier to discuss this and reassure men who evidently find the bog dick thing an issue (although in fact I’ve not met any man who would admit to it!) it’s hard for a lot of women to talk about what they like and don’t like. I’m about 20 years older than you - I do hope things are getting better down there.
Yeah, my whole point was about how it's best to ask women (and look at some anatomical drawings) rather than assume... I've also found -- as I do, here -- that women are so intelligent and sensitive and aware of all the nuance that goes with one thing fitting into another and it often has so little to do with the size of things. It's also such a turn-on for a woman to simply be desired -- by a man that she desires -- that even a small but enthusiastic dick tends to be more fun than a big log that's just pumping dumbly like a fuck machine. Out of the million things that are beautiful and sexy about intimacy and eroticism and connecting with another body, a dick size is so low on our list of turn-ons... I also find it intersting that some men are still arguing about this (here and on the original post), like they just have this incel mindset where they're dying to have a woman confirm that indeed, their dick is a litle disgusting worm and we're all obsessed with porn horsecocks. But those men probably shouldn't be fucking in the first place; fucking is a priviledge and joy and needs to be attended to with care and devotion.